WEEK 5 - A Dog Of Letters

I like to believe I am well read in the book department and familiar with the 'classics'; Tess of the Baskerville's, the The Da Vinci Code, Delia etc. I now only read the following:

1) Marquis de Sade - Complete Works.
2) Argos Catalogue (2010 Edition)
3) Pre-1967 Lincoln City Football Programmes.

The Marquis adds an excellent historical and literal component, Argos's mighty tome keeps you current with the latest gadgets and street speak, and I do relish the football programmes for their quaint colloquialisms and vernacular peculiarities. I do not read anything else.

My owner does not read, but to look intelligent he keeps on his desk a lone book. Purchased from a second hand book shop this single act has increased his standing at work by leaps and bounds. Try the following:

- Alistair Cook - The Biography by Nick Clarke
- Explorations in Western Philosophy
- Globalizing Capital: A History of the International Monetary System (second edition)

You need the book to be impressive, and boring. Should your choice prove too mainstream then this might invite questioning. Since you have no intention of reading past the outside cover, questions are to be avoided. Try to pick books that are out of print as there is less chance of others having read them. Nothing less that 500 pages should be considered. Make sure they are displayed on your desk and over a few weeks move an old train ticket through the pages as if reading. Never fails to impress. Always keep some generic retort ready for the suspicious intellectual tyring to catch you out.... "ohh yes, not bad, but I've read better".,, ooh and never ever try this with anything remotely political and never use a new book it must be second hand.