Week 23 - Clothes or Fur?

The little dog sits in the shade. It's a hot day in his home town. Fur can be awkward in the summer. But rest is not for this little canine as today he must again perambulate the subterranean maze that is know as The London Underground! Now, the four pawed little chap does not have to spend time 'getting ready'. He will venture out in the fur he stands up in. Not so for his master and the plenitude of two-pawed troglodytes he will encounter on his sojourn.

However these quotes show that there is hope for the Human Race:

"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes" ~Henry David Thoreau, Walden

"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?" ~Linda Ellerbee

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society" ~Mark Twain

"If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies.... It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it" ~Albert Einstein

"Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe" ~Benny Hill

"Just around the corner in every woman's mind - is a lovely dress, a wonderful suit, or entire costume which will make an enchanting new creature of her" ~Wilhela Cushman

"When you can't do something truly useful, you tend to vent the pent up energy in something useless but available, like snappy dressing." ~Lois McMaster Bujold

"Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly" ~Epictetus

"Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are" ~Quentin Crisp

"It's always the badly dressed people who are the most interesting" ~Jean Paul Gaultier


Fat Dog nods. Woof!

WEEK 5 - A Dog Of Letters

I like to believe I am well read in the book department and familiar with the 'classics'; Tess of the Baskerville's, the The Da Vinci Code, Delia etc. I now only read the following:

1) Marquis de Sade - Complete Works.
2) Argos Catalogue (2010 Edition)
3) Pre-1967 Lincoln City Football Programmes.

The Marquis adds an excellent historical and literal component, Argos's mighty tome keeps you current with the latest gadgets and street speak, and I do relish the football programmes for their quaint colloquialisms and vernacular peculiarities. I do not read anything else.

My owner does not read, but to look intelligent he keeps on his desk a lone book. Purchased from a second hand book shop this single act has increased his standing at work by leaps and bounds. Try the following:

- Alistair Cook - The Biography by Nick Clarke
- Explorations in Western Philosophy
- Globalizing Capital: A History of the International Monetary System (second edition)

You need the book to be impressive, and boring. Should your choice prove too mainstream then this might invite questioning. Since you have no intention of reading past the outside cover, questions are to be avoided. Try to pick books that are out of print as there is less chance of others having read them. Nothing less that 500 pages should be considered. Make sure they are displayed on your desk and over a few weeks move an old train ticket through the pages as if reading. Never fails to impress. Always keep some generic retort ready for the suspicious intellectual tyring to catch you out.... "ohh yes, not bad, but I've read better".,, ooh and never ever try this with anything remotely political and never use a new book it must be second hand.